FROM Southend to Swindon, Sheffield to Plymouth, Middlesbrough to Norwich, and all points in between, the month of May means only one thing – end-of-term exams.
The media department has obtained previously undisclosed papers relating to an A-level candidate, which we have been granted permission to publish.
Candidate Name: Argyle, P.
Position in class: 7th
Overall grading: B+
Head teacher’s comment: Could do better [signed J. Sheridan]
Having very nearly flunked GCSEs completely two years ago, Argyle has shown considerable promise at times during the year, building on last year’s progress.
It was clear in the autumn term that Argyle was very comfortable with homework, scoring exceptionally high marks in all but one assignment (Wycombe, Part I).
At this stage of the year, there were real grounds for believing that a pass with distinction was realistic. Unfortunately, something went wrong during the Christmas break. It is unclear exactly what the issue was, although there has been some talk of a mishap involving a Bentley. What is not in doubt is that Argyle struggled to maintain the same level of achievement in the early part of the spring term. Indeed, marks during January put Argyle very near the bottom of the class. This was disappointing, as it had been hoped that those days were firmly in the past.
Encouragingly, Argyle did not let spirits drop (helped in no small part by Army, G. , who has proved a most reliable friend and companion). The marks achieved in the hardest spring-term assignment (Wycombe, Part II) were among the highest awarded to anyone in the whole year.
The greatest frustration felt by all the teaching and support staff has been Argyle’s ability to shine in a very demanding examination, only then to under-perform in seemingly easier activities, such as the field trips to Dagenham and Carlisle.
A last concerted effort in the final coursework assignments saw Argyle finish in seventh position in the class, which is the least that the head teacher expected.
Having coped fairly well with the Wycombe assignments earlier in the year, Argyle would have been reasonably pleased to turn over the examination paper to find that the final assessment consisted of Wycombe, Parts III and IV. However, the questions posed by the examination board proved to be rather harder than those earlier in the year. Either Argyle did not revise sufficiently, or chief examiner Hayes was just in an unforgiving mood. Of course, turning up a full 45 minutes late did not help.
Whatever the reason, Argyle did not do quite enough to graduate to the League 1 Institute of Higher Education on this occasion. All is not lost, however, as resits being in August, in the same locations as this year.